| Change Is A Choice |
| Change Is A Choice |
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When I am ordered by my boss to do something I don’t want to do, I am likely to feel angry
and to think angry thoughts. These thoughts and feelings are what I am doing in my mind in
this
particular situation. If my thoughts and feelings are very angry I may get so carried away
that I explode, tell the boss off and quit my job. This is one way that “what goes on in my
mind” might affect the way I behave. Even though I don’t want to do what the boss tells me
to do, and even if I feel angry about it, I might think, “Well, he’s the boss. I can’t afford to
lose this job, so I better do what he says.” If I have thoughts like these I am more likely to
control my anger, and at least not quit my job without first finding another one.
This is another way in which “what goes on in my mind” controls what I do and what
happens in my life. The idea is that by controlling what I think I can have some control (not
absolute control) over how I feel and how I act. And this gives me control over what
happens in my life-like keeping my job-and over my
relationships with other people-like my boss.
There are lots of examples of how our thinking affects what we do, what happens to us and
our relationships with people. For instance:
* Consider sports stars who train themselves to have positive mental images of their
successful performance.
* Consider attitudes toward co-workers on a job.
* Consider thoughts and feelings toward someone you love (like a child or parent or lover)
as opposed to thoughts and feelings toward someone you don’t like or don’t trust.
Can you provide an example of how you think affects what you do?
EXPLANATION OF TERMS:
ATTITUDES, BELIEFS AND THINKING PATTERNS
We develop our attitudes, beliefs and thinking patterns from the things we experience in our
lives and from observing the experience of other persons.
ATTITUDES are our basic thoughts and feelings toward something or someone in our ‘life.
Examples:
If I do my assignments well and get good grades, I will probably have good
thoughts and feelings toward school. I have a positive attitude toward school
If I have had a bad experience with someone in authority or I know someone who
had a bad experience, I may have negative thoughts and feelings toward people in
authority. I have “a bad attitude” toward authority.
BELIEFS are ideas, principles or values that we use to evaluate ourselves and other people.
Examples:
I might believe that all people are basically selfish and dishonest and only obey
the law because they are afraid of getting caught. Or I might believe that most people are
basically honest and naturally want to cooperate with others and obey the laws.
THINKING PATTERNS are the thoughts that I think in similar kinds of situations.
Example:
When I am insulted by someone I may automatically think insulting thoughts toward that
person.
People often have different perceptions of the same situation or event. How we view a
situation is often influenced by attitudes we learned from our families.
Our perceptions are also influenced by other people we come into contact with. We are also
influenced by things that happen to us. For example, if you were bitten by a dog when you
were young this may cause you to fear dogs.
SEEING SITUATIONS DIFFERENTLY (1A)
1. You are awakened at 3:00 a.m because your neighbor is playing music very loudly.
You have to get up at 5:30 for work.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is your neighbor thinking?
2. You are driving on the Interstate highway. You see a police car with the light flashing. If
you lose anymore points your license will be taken away. Your last imprisonment was for
engaging in a high speed car chase when police tried to stop you for running a stop sign.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is the police officer thinking?
3. Your wife/husband calls you at work and tells you to come home right after work. You
had planned to go out with friends after work.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is your wife/husband thinking?
Thinking That Gets Us In Trouble
Sometimes our attitudes, beliefs and thinking patterns get us in
trouble.
For example:
When I was younger, I was convinced that a certain person hated me and would do
anything to hurt me.
This was my belief.
I had the attitude that this person was disgusting and not worthy of
respect. This was my attitude.
Whenever I saw this person I would think thoughts like, “Look at that
SOB. Who does he think he is anyway?” This was my thinking pattern.
Attitude
Belief
Thinking Pattern
One day this person bumped up against me in the hallway at school. I
lost my temper and hit him. I was called into the principal’s office and
suspended from school for starting a fight.
The person I hit claimed he bumped me by accident.
Did my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns contribute to me getting
into trouble?
Were my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns true? Do we have
enough information to tell?
.
Can you see how my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns
contributed to my fighting (and getting in trouble) whether or not
they were true?
When the way we think gets us into trouble, it seldom makes any real difference whether we
are right or wrong-as far as getting into
trouble is concerned. Holding to certain thoughts, beliefs, and
attitudes is what causes the trouble. Sometimes we are so devoted to proving that our
thinking is right that we dig ourselves deeper and deeper into ways of acting that get us in
trouble.
What are some ways of thinking that get people into trouble?
Sometimes the attitudes between others and ourselves get to be a
vicious circle.
Others attitudes,
beliefs, thinking
patterns
Our behavior
their behavior
Our attitudes,
beliefs,
thinking patterns
A goal of this program is to break out of that vicious circle.
and to think angry thoughts. These thoughts and feelings are what I am doing in my mind in
this
particular situation. If my thoughts and feelings are very angry I may get so carried away
that I explode, tell the boss off and quit my job. This is one way that “what goes on in my
mind” might affect the way I behave. Even though I don’t want to do what the boss tells me
to do, and even if I feel angry about it, I might think, “Well, he’s the boss. I can’t afford to
lose this job, so I better do what he says.” If I have thoughts like these I am more likely to
control my anger, and at least not quit my job without first finding another one.
This is another way in which “what goes on in my mind” controls what I do and what
happens in my life. The idea is that by controlling what I think I can have some control (not
absolute control) over how I feel and how I act. And this gives me control over what
happens in my life-like keeping my job-and over my
relationships with other people-like my boss.
There are lots of examples of how our thinking affects what we do, what happens to us and
our relationships with people. For instance:
* Consider sports stars who train themselves to have positive mental images of their
successful performance.
* Consider attitudes toward co-workers on a job.
* Consider thoughts and feelings toward someone you love (like a child or parent or lover)
as opposed to thoughts and feelings toward someone you don’t like or don’t trust.
Can you provide an example of how you think affects what you do?
EXPLANATION OF TERMS:
ATTITUDES, BELIEFS AND THINKING PATTERNS
We develop our attitudes, beliefs and thinking patterns from the things we experience in our
lives and from observing the experience of other persons.
ATTITUDES are our basic thoughts and feelings toward something or someone in our ‘life.
Examples:
If I do my assignments well and get good grades, I will probably have good
thoughts and feelings toward school. I have a positive attitude toward school
If I have had a bad experience with someone in authority or I know someone who
had a bad experience, I may have negative thoughts and feelings toward people in
authority. I have “a bad attitude” toward authority.
BELIEFS are ideas, principles or values that we use to evaluate ourselves and other people.
Examples:
I might believe that all people are basically selfish and dishonest and only obey
the law because they are afraid of getting caught. Or I might believe that most people are
basically honest and naturally want to cooperate with others and obey the laws.
THINKING PATTERNS are the thoughts that I think in similar kinds of situations.
Example:
When I am insulted by someone I may automatically think insulting thoughts toward that
person.
People often have different perceptions of the same situation or event. How we view a
situation is often influenced by attitudes we learned from our families.
Our perceptions are also influenced by other people we come into contact with. We are also
influenced by things that happen to us. For example, if you were bitten by a dog when you
were young this may cause you to fear dogs.
SEEING SITUATIONS DIFFERENTLY (1A)
1. You are awakened at 3:00 a.m because your neighbor is playing music very loudly.
You have to get up at 5:30 for work.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is your neighbor thinking?
2. You are driving on the Interstate highway. You see a police car with the light flashing. If
you lose anymore points your license will be taken away. Your last imprisonment was for
engaging in a high speed car chase when police tried to stop you for running a stop sign.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is the police officer thinking?
3. Your wife/husband calls you at work and tells you to come home right after work. You
had planned to go out with friends after work.
How do you see the situation? (What are you thinking?)
What is your wife/husband thinking?
Thinking That Gets Us In Trouble
Sometimes our attitudes, beliefs and thinking patterns get us in
trouble.
For example:
When I was younger, I was convinced that a certain person hated me and would do
anything to hurt me.
This was my belief.
I had the attitude that this person was disgusting and not worthy of
respect. This was my attitude.
Whenever I saw this person I would think thoughts like, “Look at that
SOB. Who does he think he is anyway?” This was my thinking pattern.
Attitude
Belief
Thinking Pattern
One day this person bumped up against me in the hallway at school. I
lost my temper and hit him. I was called into the principal’s office and
suspended from school for starting a fight.
The person I hit claimed he bumped me by accident.
Did my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns contribute to me getting
into trouble?
Were my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns true? Do we have
enough information to tell?
.
Can you see how my attitudes, beliefs, and thinking patterns
contributed to my fighting (and getting in trouble) whether or not
they were true?
When the way we think gets us into trouble, it seldom makes any real difference whether we
are right or wrong-as far as getting into
trouble is concerned. Holding to certain thoughts, beliefs, and
attitudes is what causes the trouble. Sometimes we are so devoted to proving that our
thinking is right that we dig ourselves deeper and deeper into ways of acting that get us in
trouble.
What are some ways of thinking that get people into trouble?
Sometimes the attitudes between others and ourselves get to be a
vicious circle.
Others attitudes,
beliefs, thinking
patterns
Our behavior
their behavior
Our attitudes,
beliefs,
thinking patterns
A goal of this program is to break out of that vicious circle.