Pay Attention To Your Thoughts
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You Are What You Think
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All of us have an "Inner Observer" who comments on what we do.
Worry can make a small problem big.
To change your attitude, change your mind. You are responsible for your thinking. Change
your thinking and life will get better. But, what thoughts do you change? Your troublesome
thoughts about a situation can easily be found in your self-talk. Self-talk is that inner running
dialogue you have with yourself. It is what you tell yourself about life's situations.
All of us have a voice that talks to us. You might think of it as your conscience. It might be that
"inner observer" who seems to sits in the corner and watches everything you do. You may
recognize it as that voice that starts talking to you upon awakening in the morning. Sometimes
it may wait until you look in the mirror before it actually speaks. It is that voice that says, "You
sure are handsome." or "What a wonderful person you are." Or "You are going to have a great
day." It might say, "You are so slim and your hair looks beautiful." If you don’t' recognize this
voice then yours may be speaking to you in a different tone. You might be hearing, "You look
like crap today" or "You sure have gained a lot of weight." "Your hair is a mess." "It's is a
terrible day! Get back in bed." This voice, the negative, critical one, is one of the main reasons
we have so many problems. It can destroy resiliency by opening the flood gates and draining
away your energy.
This voice can make anything worse. You may be like most people and know how to take any
small problem, think about it for awhile, and have a bigger problem. That little voice keeps
telling you what might go wrong. All of the dark possibilities are pointed out. The imagination
creates a very bad situation. The problem goes from a mild annoyance to a major catastrophe
as you convince yourself that the imagined situation is the real situation. You are now busy
confronting a problem that only exists in your mind.
Any response, at this point, is going to be out of proportion to the original problem. The normal
reaction to the original problem is most likely some degree of emotional distress. If you have
been laid off from a job, you may be feeling some combination of tense, worried, anxious, sad,
irritated, frustrated, or angry. All of these are normal emotions for the experience. However,
that inner voice may be busy exaggerating, " This is horrible and terrible. It is the world’s worst
thing. You will never find another job. You are a hopeless and helpless person. No one will
ever hire you. You won’t be able to pay your bills. You will lose everything you have. You
should just give up." With such a running dialogue you will soon fall into depression or
become enraged at your imagined mistreatment. In a deep depression you may decide that the
situation is hopeless and become suicidal. In a state of rage you may act in an inappropriate,
violent manner towards your former employer. Either reaction is too intense because the
response is to a situation you have created in your mind. Change your mind, your attitude, and
the problem can shrink back to its original size. The original problem may be bad enough but it
is not the catastrophe you have invented.
To change your attitude you must change the inner dialogue. To change the dialogue you must
catch it in action. To do this you have to pay attention to yourself. You must engage in self-
observation and listen for that inner voice.
The next time that you find yourself feeling "bad" don’t start asking, "Who did this to me?" Don’
t start looking around for the external cause of your problems. What you should do is to ask
yourself, "What have I been thinking?" "What have I been telling my self?" You may find that
your inner dialogue has put you deep into emotional distress.
________________________________________
All of us have an "Inner Observer" who comments on what we do.
Worry can make a small problem big.
To change your attitude, change your mind. You are responsible for your thinking. Change
your thinking and life will get better. But, what thoughts do you change? Your troublesome
thoughts about a situation can easily be found in your self-talk. Self-talk is that inner running
dialogue you have with yourself. It is what you tell yourself about life's situations.
All of us have a voice that talks to us. You might think of it as your conscience. It might be that
"inner observer" who seems to sits in the corner and watches everything you do. You may
recognize it as that voice that starts talking to you upon awakening in the morning. Sometimes
it may wait until you look in the mirror before it actually speaks. It is that voice that says, "You
sure are handsome." or "What a wonderful person you are." Or "You are going to have a great
day." It might say, "You are so slim and your hair looks beautiful." If you don’t' recognize this
voice then yours may be speaking to you in a different tone. You might be hearing, "You look
like crap today" or "You sure have gained a lot of weight." "Your hair is a mess." "It's is a
terrible day! Get back in bed." This voice, the negative, critical one, is one of the main reasons
we have so many problems. It can destroy resiliency by opening the flood gates and draining
away your energy.
This voice can make anything worse. You may be like most people and know how to take any
small problem, think about it for awhile, and have a bigger problem. That little voice keeps
telling you what might go wrong. All of the dark possibilities are pointed out. The imagination
creates a very bad situation. The problem goes from a mild annoyance to a major catastrophe
as you convince yourself that the imagined situation is the real situation. You are now busy
confronting a problem that only exists in your mind.
Any response, at this point, is going to be out of proportion to the original problem. The normal
reaction to the original problem is most likely some degree of emotional distress. If you have
been laid off from a job, you may be feeling some combination of tense, worried, anxious, sad,
irritated, frustrated, or angry. All of these are normal emotions for the experience. However,
that inner voice may be busy exaggerating, " This is horrible and terrible. It is the world’s worst
thing. You will never find another job. You are a hopeless and helpless person. No one will
ever hire you. You won’t be able to pay your bills. You will lose everything you have. You
should just give up." With such a running dialogue you will soon fall into depression or
become enraged at your imagined mistreatment. In a deep depression you may decide that the
situation is hopeless and become suicidal. In a state of rage you may act in an inappropriate,
violent manner towards your former employer. Either reaction is too intense because the
response is to a situation you have created in your mind. Change your mind, your attitude, and
the problem can shrink back to its original size. The original problem may be bad enough but it
is not the catastrophe you have invented.
To change your attitude you must change the inner dialogue. To change the dialogue you must
catch it in action. To do this you have to pay attention to yourself. You must engage in self-
observation and listen for that inner voice.
The next time that you find yourself feeling "bad" don’t start asking, "Who did this to me?" Don’
t start looking around for the external cause of your problems. What you should do is to ask
yourself, "What have I been thinking?" "What have I been telling my self?" You may find that
your inner dialogue has put you deep into emotional distress.
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